FREAKING OUT!!!

I am sitting here in my apartment completely freaking out over a BIG OL’ NASTY SPIDER in one of the curtains in my living room.

I always keep my curtains pushed back behind a hook and apparently some nasty spider made a little home for himself within the folds. Ew. In fact, I’m not an expert (just an aracnophobe) but it looks like a freaking nest or something. I’m sitting sideways on my sofa right now so that I can constantly keep an eye on it so I’ll be able to see right away if the monster - or the millions of tiny baby spiders that I’m convinced are hatching in there right now - crawl out and try and get in my mouth (for some reason, that’s my biggest fear, that the spiders will crawl in my mouth). Ew.

I wish I never moved the curtain. Ignorance is bliss. That disgusting beast was so big, I could see its leg joints. EW ew ew ew EW!!! LEG JOINTS!!!! EEEEWWW!!!!!

I may have to go camp out in my bedroom for the rest of the night. Of course I only finnd big ol’ nasty spiders on nights when the boy is not home and is out working a case.

Actually, I think God is trying to give me a heart attach tonight. I got home late and sat on the couch and just started to relax when the smoke detector in the hallway started to go off. Then doors opened. I started to put on my shoes and grab my bag and cellphone but then I heard people yelling, “Just turn the fucking fan on!” and I realized it was just a cooking incident.

Then I sat back down and a few minutes later someone was knocking on my door. I looked through the peephole and saw a freaky looking guy who, if I passed on the street I would have assumed was a bum. I don’t have a chain on my door, so I had to just open it up to see what this guy wanted. He was looking for the super, Scott. He lives one floor up. I told the guy that and he apologized for bothering me, but for a second when I first saw him standing there I was afraid I was going to be attacked. Random people seem to get in this building without a problem. And I think there was a crime scene downstairs a few weeks after we moved in.

Then I worked out, causing me to close the curtains and find when I went to put them back behind the hooks the nasty freaking huge spider. I almost touched it before I realized what it was. Dear Lord.

Then, I’m sitting here freaking out over the spider and I hear some kid screaming somewhere. Couldn’t tell if it was in the building or somewhere outside. But it didn’t sound like play screaming.

Then, I think I hear a smoke alarm again, followed up by extremely loud screaming fire engine sirens. Coming right at my building. Thankfully, they just screamed on by.

I think I hate this apartment building. It’s scary. Our “neighbors” are scummy. Ew. I don’t even care that it’s cute anymore.

(OK, maybe I’m being a little dramatic - this was all sparked by a spider sighting. You can’t move because of a spider. Now, if it were an infestation…)

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F-ing Horrifying!!!

Why? Just… Why?

“Some species like The Goliath Birdeater (Theraphosa Blondi) can have up to a 12″ leg span, that’s a spider the size of a dinner plate and it will need a significantly larger tank of 20 - 40 gallons.”

And people want these things in their house as pets.

EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW!!!

Oh. My. God. There’s a picture of a freaking huge-ass beast spider on some person’s chest/shoulder area.

I think I’m going to faint. I’m all hot and prickly feeling. EW.

View the Horror.

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There’s a spider above the kitchen cabinets. I’m terrified that he’ll fall on me. I’ve tried to kill it, but I’m afraid I’ll miss and he’ll fall on me. ugh. Why can’t I get over my fear of spiders? ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.

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